People Just Want To Be Loved

by David J. Stewart | November 2019

John 13:35, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

       It is no secret to my faithful web visitors that I have been in a reluctant battle with Harvest Baptist Church on Guam since 2014 over the modern Alexandrian Bible versions, Lordship Salvation and their refusal to allow me to attend their church services. Romans 4:3, “God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.” God is no respecter of persons. Titles and positions don't sway God's opinion. I am telling THE TRUTH!

Don't you dare tell me that some intellectuals found an “older” and “more reliable” Bible text in the 19th century, that removes every mention of anyone “worshipping” Jesus, and reduces it to a mere “bowed” or “knelt” (as all the modern PERversions do). Do you really buy into that garbage? I mean, if you had an old letter saying how much your deceased mother was greatly beloved in the local community, but then someone claimed to have found an older letter which didn't honor your mother at all, which one would you promote? Why do preachers tolerate these horrible counterfeit Bible versions that blatantly diminish the preeminence and deity of our dear Savior? Not me buddy! No way! Uh-uh!

Albeit, God knows that I didn't expose Harvest for any of the reasons I've mentioned (even though I am confident that I am right in the things I say); but rather, because they failed to love me as a human being. I needed their help, and they knew it, but they didn't care about me. The last thing I said to the assistant pastor, the night he called me into the back church office to reprimand me for telling the truth was: “Brother ___, I want God's wisdom!” I said that because a guest missionary speaker had spoken on “Wisdom” that Wednesday night, and my heart was stirred from the message I had heard. I do so much want to grow in the Lord. Little did I know, that all the assistant pastor cared about was doing what his boss said—to shut me up! Well, that did the exact oppossite, it riled me up! All I wanted and needed was to be loved! If they had simply expressed God's love toward me, and been patient with me, none of this would have happened. They pressed the issue, by forcing a hurting dog into a corner, and I fought back doctrinally with my ministry! I am telling the truth.

One of my favorite pastors and preachers is Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr., who beautifully said: “Human Beings Just Want To Be Loved... Just Love The Hell Out Of Them!” I would have gladly removed all my negative comments from the internet about Harvest Baptist Church (and I still would like to do this soon), had they simply loved me as a fellow brother in Christ (and my offer still stands), whose having a rough time in life, who literally begged for their help. I e-mailed three of their pastors in 2017 and pleaded for “a second chance.” They said: “Go elsewhere!” It hurt so much, and so then I wrote more articles exposing them, because I was telling THE TRUTH, and they were shunning me away for it. I am just a hurting dog barking! My body hurts. My soul hurts. My life has been a train wreck, and no one has cared for my soul. I get tired sometimes of being the only one that seems to care. I know what it is like to live alone as a recluse for years in my pain and loneliness of misery, and no one from the local Baptist church knocks on my door to tell me I am loved, and invite me to church. This is America today! I wish I had a church to invite people to! I am reluctant to contact Harvest again, but they know where I live if they want to make peace. I just wish sometimes I'd open my door and find a note that says: “We hope to see you Sunday David. Love, Harvest Baptist Church.” People just want to be loved.

You know, all I've ever wanted is to be loved by their pastors and church family. If they had simply said, “David, we love you, and of course you are welcome to come back to church,” I would have gladly backed down. I would have removed all mention of them in a negative light from my internet articles. 2nd Corinthians 12:15, “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.” I have God's love shed abroad in my soul by the indwelling Holy Spirit. I don't like to make enemies. Respectfully, it is the way the pastors mishandled the whole situation that exasperated things. Instead of showing me unconditional love, they berated me and were glad to see me go. They gave up on me. The Bible says that Christian leaders ought to have a servants' heart. Matthew 23:11, “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” I asked for their help with my broken life. Kindly, they didn't care. I have never attacked them personally by name, because it is not personal. This is a church matter. Just as they have a right to promote whatever they want, so do I. That is not only our Bill of Rights as American citizens, but our God-given right “that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints” (Jude 1:3).

I respectfully explained to Harvest's pastors that because of our doctrinal differences, I wouldn't ask to become a voted-in member, but I just wanted to attend the services and be a part of their church family. I don't see any harm in that. I always respected Harvest's pastors, until they called Pastor Jack Hyles “a cult.” My hero of the faith ain't no cult! Dr. John MacArthur and his SEVEN STEPS to salvation (none of which includes BELIEVING the Gospel) is the cult!!! Albeit, I would NEVER disrespect Harvest's pastors if I attended their church, nor ever speak a single word of criticism against them to their people. I didn't do it when I attended for a year in 2014, nor would I ever do it at any church I attend. I did criticize them in 2015 after they compelled me to leave and gave up on me, for which I have already apologized in 2017. Truthfully, I was just hurting inside and wanting to come back, but they didn't want me back. I know that I don't bite my tongue (or actually my fingers...lol), having a big mouth, but I am just hurting inside. A hurting dog barks! I just want to love and be loved. Love always makes a way! We should all be very thankful to God that He gives us a second chance, and a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, et cetera. I love Dr. Jack Hyles' sermon: “The Two Greatest Sins One Can Commit.”

Do you know when I lived in Chicago, that I visited a local new-evangelical church ONE TIME! They only used the New International Version (NIV), so I didn't return. But God bless their pastor, who sent me a monthly invitation card to return to their church for the next 10 YEARS!!! That is God's love! That act of love and kindness on their part made a lasting impression on me! Think about that! How many churches do you know, that would try to get you back for 10 YEARS, after just ONE VISIT? I don't know of any except that one caring church. Even though I didn't return, I felt loved and it made a difference for God in my soul! You're never wasting your time when you do something for the Lord!!! And by the way, the only reason the church invitations stopped coming is because I moved to Guam in 2004. Oh, that churches would care more about people. You don't use people to build a ministry, you use your ministry to build people!

I am in pain of some sort all the time. I was hit by a church bus while driving for the Lord at the First Baptist Church of Hammond in 1992. I have always looked to the bright side, that I was hit by a fellow Bible college student driving another church bus, and not by a beer truck. That means God will reward me in Heaven for all my suffering, because I was serving him by voluntarily driving a bus for the 'B Sunday School,' and so was the other man who rear-ended my bus. As much as I hate having experienced the accident, it has brought my life to where it is today, good and bad alike. My bus was hit so hard, that the engine and transmission of the bus behind me were cracked in umpteen pieces in the street, and the insurance company “ultimately” (the former Harvest pastor's favorite word) bought another bus for the rental company, because it would have cost more to repair the bus than just buy a brand new one. My driver's seat was broken off its hinges! All that force absorbed into my neck, and the whiplash permanently misaligned my cervical bones, causing my adverse medical condition today. Somebody had left an abandoned car on the roadway, which caused the accident, involving three buses. Things happen in life, good and bad alike (Ecclesiastes 9:11). God is good and I trust Him in all that He does!

And then I fell at work in 2004, tumbling hard down a mail slide, when I slipped on baby-powder employees were using to make the packages slide. I had been called in maintenance to replace a broken fluorescent bulb, smashed when some packages buckled upward. That accident worsened my Cervical Degenerative Disk Disease (that fancy medical term simply means my neck is slowly deteriorating) from the bus accident, which in hindsight was a blessing, because it gave me disability. God takes care of me. In Dr. John R. Rice's (1895-1980) book on 'The Charismatic Movement,' he shares a horrible accident that happened to him. The Sword of the Lord used to be in Wheaton, Illinois. On one evening in the 1960's, Brother Rice slipped and fell down some stairs in a dark basement and cracked his skull. His olfactory nerve was cut in half, leaving him permanently without any sense of smell. I dread accidents, because it only take one to mess you up for the rest of your earthly life! Still, I am thankful “IN” everything, not “FOR” everything (1st Thessalonians 5:17).

You need to understand that for one year they won my heart at Harvest. The church nurse liked me, and I was scared at the time to reach out to her, so I didn't. But she had my heart. She used to wait for me in the parking lot when I came to church, and that made a major impression on me. I made friends in the church. I loved the pastor dearly, because he came up to me personally before every service, and I felt very loved. But then I handed him some books to help him see, as a friend. I gave him “Martin Luther: Master Of Deceit” by Pastor Max D. Younce, my friend. I gave him “NIV: The Antichrist's Bible” by Pastor Al Lacy. And I gave him “I Never Knew You” by Brother Michael P. Bowen. All three books offended their pastors. I was called into the back office of the church, and reprimanded, prohibited from sharing those book titles with anybody in the church. They called Pastor Jack Hyles and me “a cult.” Consequently, I was compelled to leave Harvest Baptist Church, in bitter tears all the way home. I had just lost the only church family I knew.

They gave up on me as the months passed, and then a couple years. I had nowhere else to go to church, so I didn't. I was dying with loneliness. I gained a bunch of weight due to depression. I thought about that nurse every day, and then saw her on February 21, 2017 at Asan Beach in her hammock between two palm trees, and my heart melted. I finally told her how I felt about her. She had so much of an impact on my soul, that I went on a crash diet, going from 215 pounds to 145 in just 4 months, to impress her. Unfortunately, she e-mailed me and told me never to contact her again. I was very sad. But at least I had finally told her how I felt, wanting to court her at church, and now I had some closure, knowing that she didn't want me, and made it clear. What could I do? That was her choice alone, which saddened me much.

After that event, I desperately wanted to go back to Harvest. I apologized to the church pastors for any trouble I had caused, and humbly with respect begged them to please allow me to attend church services. They literally used my affection for the nurse as an excuse not to let me return, which made me angry. Men of God don't play God with people's lives. I am 100% confident that I am not the first person, who has ever liked someone else in their church. I mean, after all, the nurse did like me first! I knew their excuse was a lame attempt to simply get rid of me, and that hurt deeply. A Scripture comes to mind...

Philippians 2:1-3, “If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

So in my frustration I hadn't been able to convince the Pastors to let me come back. I wrote a bunch more articles, expressing my frustrations, and telling THE TRUTH!

Then a young Christian woman from Harvest Baptist Church moved into my neighborhood in 2017, and I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She recently did her hair, and looks like a glamour girl, and she is beautiful. She works hard, wears modest clothes, and is special to me. I won't explain it all again, because I share my story in this article. And also, I share my feelings in this article about Harvest. Well, the second woman wrote me a letter, and gave back my affectionate care-bear. Strangely, her letter seemed to say almost verbatim what the nurse's letter said, which was suspicious, leading me to believe that her pastors were behind both letters. As you can imagine, now I am really wanting to expose them for fake Bibles, Lordship Salvation and not letting me come back to church. What a mess! So now there are two women at Harvest Baptist Church that are dear to me, and I am not allowed to come to church, not even to sit quietly and listen to the sermons. Who wouldn't be upset?

I mean, if the ladies don't like me, then they don't like me, what's the big deal? I have 100% respected both women, by never contacting them again (as they both requested). That is the hardest thing to do, but I am not a fool. Kindly, their pastors are playing God with my life, trying to own people. So be it, then I will continue to expose their church as a cult, since they are promoting the Alexandrian cult Bible versions (Note: I humbly disagree with Dr. Peter Ruckman on double-inspiration for the King James Bible, but he is 100% accurate concerning the Alexandrian versions). I gave the pastors of Harvest a solemn promise, that if they allowed me to return I would not be a root of bitterness in the church. I don't make promises often, because talk is cheap and promises are easily broken. So when I make a promise, I keep my word, which my family knows to be true. Through all the suffering I have endured in my life, it is easier for me to forgive and let go of grudges. God has forgiven me of so much! I pray that they would do the same at HBC. It doesn't matter what my motive is for exposing Harvest, as long as I am telling THE TRUTH! Forgive me if I seem arrogant, God knows I am not, I am just confident. No woman at Harvest will ever like me if their pastors are against me. I just wish we could all get along as brethren in Christ! I am a fighter, I admit, like God my Savior. Brother Lester Roloff: “Say what you will, God is a fighter!”[1] Albeit, I long for fellowship with a local Baptist church, to love them and hopefully be loved back.

I am humble and keep to myself. I am a friendly person, but I get emotional sometimes. I have a big heart. I cry often in church. I have been forgiven of so much by the Lord, and I weep when I hear pretty Christian music, or hear a Spirit-filled sermon. My heart aches to see my Savior, rejoicing that each day of my life is one day closer to that Great Day of meeting my dear Savior personally in Heaven. I don't like living alone. In fact, I hate it! I'm tired of seeing my Harvest neighbours have parties and church get-togethers and I am left out. I see all this, and it is as if I am being mocked, and it hurts, and I think they are smart people and know it too. Nobody likes to be left out! It hurts. If they want to continue hurting me, they are doing a great job of it. All I ever wanted was simply to come back to church. If I can except them, as messed up as they are, why can't they except a mess like me? People just want to be loved. If the pastors of Harvest Baptist Church would love me, then the people would also love me. They follow their pastor's leading. I have nothing but love for the people of Harvest, including their pastors, even though we disagree on some issues. There's not a preacher that I promote with whom I agree on everything. I just want to be loved, and to love, and to have a church family.

When I attended Harvest Baptist Church in 2014, I sat listening attentively with my head down throughout the preaching, because I am a bit of nervous kind of person. The former senior pastor used to say, “Look up here at me,” and I ALWAYS did out of respect, but then I looked back down instinctively, so I wouldn't be nervous making eye contact. I am a misfit, and have been all my life. I feel awkward around people, but love them as myself, as the Scriptures teach. I would rather be hurt 10,000 times over, than to ever hurt another human being. That is my biblical attitude! I humbly asked the former pastor of Harvest in 2017 if we could become friends, but he wasn't interested. I am thankful for my friend, Jesus. John 15:14-15, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.” A friend shares his heart with a friend. The reason I am willing to go back is because Harvest primarily uses the King James Bible (aka, Bob Jones University's position), and they do have the free grace Gospel present amidst a blend of Lordship Salvation which has infiltrated the church (At least, that is what I discerned in 2014.)

Humbly, the only logical conclusion I can come to for their ongoing rejection of me, is that Harvest Baptist Church is still guilty in 2019 of everything I have preached against them (i.e., promoting fake Bibles, Lordship Salvation, bidding Godspeed to false prophets, et cetera) for the past 5 years, and nothing has changed there; and so they don't want a truth-teller in their presence. Of course, they think they are of the truth, but I think they are woefully deceived by the Devil. God authored one Sacred HOLY BIBLE; not 39, not 900, not even two! We're going to find out who was right, and who was wrong, in eternity. ...

'THE BATTLE OF THE AGES'
(Dr. Hyles, “The King James Bible crowd is going to come out on top!”)

If Harvest's pastors want to continue to hold a grudge, for whatever reason(s), then that is on them. I have tried repeatedly to make peace with their church, so I can please return, and like any normal human being, hopefully interact with other Christians, and perhaps even meet a woman to one day marry. That is what everybody else at Harvest is already doing, so why am I being narrowed-out and rejected? There must be a Christian woman at Harvest with a broken life like me, who is lonely, and loves Jesus, and wants a good and godly husband to love, protect and provide for her. I want to make her happy! I mean, am I way off base? I don't get it. I am a loving person. Yes, I have a big mouth, but I have no bite. I am harmless, just opinionated, which is Pastor Jack Hyles' godly influence on me. Romans 14:10, “But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.” I am just nothing, but THE TRUTH is everything...

“The beginning of greatness is to be little; the increase of greatness is to be less; the perfection of greatness is to be nothing.” —Pastor Dwight L. Moody (1837-1899)

In 2017, I pleaded with the senior Pastor (whom I love much) of Harvest to please let me return to church. I apologized for any grief I had caused. I kindly told him that I am a humble graduate of Hyles-Anderson College (1985-1993), and there must be something that a nobody like me can voluntarily do in the church to serve God. All I really needed was to come back to church. Everybody needs a family in the Lord. Due to my health afflictions, I would be fortunate to make it to half the services. That is the mistake I made in 2014, I pushed myself too hard, because I really wanted to be at church “three-to-thrive” [as Pastor Lee Roberson (1909-2007) used to say], and I was burning out. So when they confronted me about our doctrinal differences, I wasn't as understanding as I wish I had been. They compelled me to leave, but I wish we had worked it out instead. I cannot make it up to them, if they don't give me a second chance. I miss having a family in the Lord dearly. I say these things in humility with all due respect for the pastors, staff and people at Harvest. Unfortunately, they told me in 2017 to: “Go elsewhere!” I have nowhere to go, and so here I am still, a hurting dog who is barking! Arff! Arff!

“Human beings just want to be loved... just love the hell out of them!” —Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr.

1st Corinthians 16:24, “My love be with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen.”

END OF ARTICLE

“Faith is the only righteous thing that I can do!”
—Pastor Jack Hyles, a quote from the MP3 sermon titled: God's Reversal Of Psalms 51

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